EZ Rejection Form Generator

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 0 Comments A+ a-

Under the list of 'Things I'm Doing When I Should be Writing/Designing" comes a fun lil link I saw over at LROD (Literary Rejections on Display-great blog, btw) for the EZ Rejection Form Letter for Writers:
Literary Agent Version
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From the site:

With the publishing industry awash in manuscripts from enthusiastic would-be novelists, literary agents are having a hard time keeping up. Lately, even the best agencies are resorting to random (see if you can find it in the mailbox) postcard rejection notices, and squint-to-read rejection slips mass produced from toner-depleted copiers.

Writers, you can help! With your next novel submission, encourage the agent to fill out this handy EZ Rejection Form Letter. It’ll save the second assistants some time, and give you the most detailed rejection letter you probably ever got. :)

Anna Richenda created this and it's too funny (if not true on some points LOL). I tried one out and here's what I got. (I hope she adds more choices for the future hehe)

7/13/2008

EZ Literary Agency
1534 Editor Ave
Rejection City, WA 55555

Dear Writer:

Enclosed please find your pristine, unread manuscript.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your manuscript, but I am unable to offer you representation --ever-- because, though I loved your novel, frankly, at this point, I'm too busy to know if I really loved it or if I've started to hallucinate.

Another reason I must decline to represent you is that your manuscript isn't a variation on some existing bestseller. Can you write a cute animal mystery, please? I'm freaking out, here. In addition, this work really sucks.

A few words of advice. Please don't contact me again until you have a ready platform. So what if your book is great? Frankly, publishers won't pay to promote it unless you're famous. And right now, nobody cares one whit about you. In closing, I wish you luck in placing your manuscript elsewhere--Snerk!

The very warmest of regards,

Gifford Regnal-Symes
Mailroom Assistant Trainee.